Thankful for: Cookies in the morning

I’m headed over to my friend’s apartment for our annual Thanksgiving feast soon, so to make sure that I get a post up today, I’m going to post now.

I woke up this morning not very hungry, and since I’m going to be eating so much food today anyway that my skipping breakfast won’t make much of a difference, I embraced adulthood by having a cookie for breakfast.

There are certain times in a year when I really don’t feel like a grown up, and holiday mornings make up most of those times. Maybe my holiday memories from my childhood are so strong because the holidays were always a time of joy and play. Since lately I haven’t been feeling so joyful and playful, I should try to wake up every morning feeling like a kid on holiday.

Today it was easy because it just happened to be a holiday.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Delicious cookie with dark chocolate chunks. This post was brought to you in a haze of sugar.

Thankful for: Half days of work

I got a half day from work today for the Thanksgiving holiday, and even though today was cold and rainy and I can’t spend my afternoon off walking through Central Park, I did get a chance to go down to Soho and get a few errands done. I bought a few ingredients that my friends and I are going to need for our Thanksgiving feast tomorrow, as well as a new planner for 2015 and a new notebook for the month of December. Though I haven’t finished filling the one I’m writing in right now, I’m down to the last several pages and I plan on writing quite a bit this Thanksgiving break.


The notebook I'm currently filling is on the far left, the 2015 planner on the far right. The new notebook that will be next in line to be filled is red like the blood of angry women.

Walking around Soho was an interesting experience. I walked along Lafayette, along a route I took most days on my way to class when I lived on Broome Street, and it was weird to no longer be a resident of that particular area of New York. I felt strangely like a visitor, like one of the many tourists that still brave the sidewalks of the city when it’s raining/snowing outside.

This city is infinitely interesting because of the vastly different characteristics of the different neighborhoods, even of Manhattan alone, let alone the other boroughs. But it also feels extremely disconnected as a result.

The area I live in has a steady increase in the number of housing projects per block the further north you go. Last night, on my way home, I saw a police car parked outside of the project closest to my apartment building, though I had never seen one parked there before. Near my workplace, a place that has Hunter College, Weill-Cornell Medical Center, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, and Rockefeller University within a ten-block radius of one another, showed no increase in police presence. Soho, from what I can tell, showed no increase in police presence.

What does that say about the city?

Regardless, I am thankful for this particular half day from work.

Because that means that I can rest up for more days of fighting the system in the small ways that I can.

Happy Blogging, everyone.

Thankful for: Nothing

There will be no real “Thankful for” post today because I am too angry and upset to be thankful about much today.

What would I be thankful for?

A militarized police force violently suppressing minority voices.

Open carry, but only for white people.

Stand your ground, but only for white men.

And don’t even think about being black and trans.

I am thankful for having a place to live. I’m not necessarily thankful for the country I am living in.

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Thankful for: Reading and writing

I’m still tired and mentally/emotionally stretched thin today, but not as terribly as I have been in the past few weeks. (Though I am, I think, more physically exhausted due to the fact that I couldn’t really fall asleep until about three in the morning, so today was particularly tiring.)

Slowly but surely making my way through this book.

Slowly but surely making my way through this book.

But today I am thankful for:

The ability to read and write.

I’m currently making my way through The Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood and I’m so glad that I have the ability to read her stories. So far, The Year of the Flood is an intriguing exercise for the brain that isn’t quite heavy-lifting, but more like consistent and sustained calisthenics. It’s not hard to imagine the world that she paints because it is so close to life, but it does require a certain mental endurance to read through. Still, it’s a thinly-veiled, easily grasped, inventive and biting criticism of civilization. It’s fantastic so far.

This was how I spent my morning a few weeks ago, near the beginning of the month.

This was how I spent my morning a few weeks ago, near the beginning of the month.

But, not only am I glad that I can read words, I’m glad that I can write them. The particular combinations I come up with may not be the best, and my writing may be largely personal and therefore not for anyone else to read, I’m still glad that I can write. There’s nothing stopping me physically, mentally, lawfully, or otherwise from writing. And I’m grateful for that.

And now, I’m going to go off and do more reading and writing.

And exercise because I need to do more physical activity, even if I really don’t feel up to doing much.

Happy blogging, everyone.

Seven days of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is this week and, as I say every year, it’s my favorite holiday. In the past it’s typically been a family affair, a reunion of sorts before Christmas. But in recent years, it’s become just another reason for my friends and I to gather together to cook and eat a whole lot of food. (Not that we really need much of an excuse anyway.)

Lately, I’ve been on edge, in a sort of distressed state that doesn’t have a clear place of origin. I’m exhausted, I’m cranky, I feel under the weather though the weather has been surprisingly fine. I’ve been sleeping well, eating well, even getting a little bit more exercise than I have been the past few weeks. But I’ve just been so… Upset. To be honest, I’m still in that state now. And it’s been hard for me to be chipper.

I can’t figure out what’s wrong, but in the meantime, maybe it’ll help for me to focus on what is going right. So that’s what this last week of NaBloPoMo is going to be about.

What am I thankful for?

Right now, I’m thankful for this song:


Saturday tunes

I didn’t really do much today. At least, not anything that I was actually planning on doing. Instead, most of my time was spent clicking through YouTube and listening to songs that have been out for quite some time now but I just started listening to them.

So here. Enjoy my Saturday soundtrack~

“Rather Be” by Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne, covered by Pentatonix

If you gave me a chance, I would take it
It’s a shot in the dark, but I’ll make it
Know with all of your heart you can’t shake me
When I am with you, there’s no place I’d rather be.”

“Am I Wrong” by Nico & Vinz

Am I wrong
for thinking that we could be something for real?
Am I wrong
for trying to reach the things that I can’t see?
That’s just how I feel
That’s just how I feel
That’s just how I feel
Trying to reach the things that I can’t see

“Counting Stars” by One Republic

Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
And baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars

“All of Me” by John Legend, featuring Lindsey Stirling

What’s going on in that beautiful mind?
I’m on your magical mystery ride
And I’m so dizzy
Don’t know what hit me
But I’ll be alright

“Always” by Panic! At the Disco

It was always you falling for me
now there’s always time calling for me
I’m the light blinking at the end of the road
Blink back to let me know

“Everything Has Changed” by Taylor Swift, featuring Ed Sheeran

All I know is you said hello
and your eyes look like coming home
and all I know is a simple name
and everything has changed

“Lego House” by Ed Sheeran

I’m gonna pick up the pieces and build a Lego house
If things go wrong we can knock it down
My three words have two meanings
There’s one thing on my mind:
It’s all for you


Here’s a word that I’ve been saying wrong in my head this entire time:



I tweeted about it shortly after it happened because this is the sort of thing people tweet about.

(And before I go into how to say this word, I’m curious about how other people say this word in their head. Leave a comment with how you say the word!)

See, in my head I’ve always said “DEH-treh-tus,” where the emphasis is on the first syllable, and the second syllable sounds like you start to say “tree” but give up part way through.

Thankfully, though, I had a short conversation with one of my coworkers and he said “de-TRY-tus.” I knew the word he was talking about; context and the same beginning and end sounds spelled the word “detritus” out in my head, but I wasn’t sure about the pronunciation.

So I looked it up.


Thanks for being handy, mobile phone.

Detritus. Pronunciation: “deh-TRY-tus.”

Thank god I heard someone say the word before I ever had to say it out loud in real life.

Not that that’s never happened before. I did a few vlogs while I was studying abroad in 2013 (was that really a year and a half ago?) and in one of them, about a visit to the Sydney Aquarium, included the word “homage.” And not only did I use a word that was extremely silly and pretentious, I used it incorrectly, all on top of saying it wrong.

Embarrassing? Yes. Do I care? I have moments where I cringe at the awkwardness of it, but I’m more or less over it.

Besides, it’s not as mortifying as John Green’s multiple mispronunciations of “hectare” when talking about agriculture and economic development.

Going through life, for me, has been a series of having one less thing to be afraid of. The biggest example of this, of course, is graduating from college and being technically jobless, and then trying to find a way to make it work. But along the way there have been little things. Being less afraid to say what’s on my mind in a public place (via this blog), being less afraid of public speaking (as in, actually speaking and not writing), being less afraid to tell someone how I feel about them, etc.

And now, in one more small way, I have one less thing to be afraid of:

The word “detritus.”

Ten ways to tell you’ve met me in real life

Considering that, although this blog is a pretty comprehensive look into my everyday thoughts, how would you know if you ever met me in real life?

Therefore, I present:

Ten ways to tell you’ve met me in real life, or, If you really knew me, you would know…


I was sitting in the mezzanine level of the Food Emporium near work today and the sunlight coming in made some really pretty shadows, so I stopped and took a picture.

1. I’m the one sitting and writing really quickly in a notebook. This probably also means that you’ve caught me in the few minutes before I have to go in to work or during my lunch break. And now, this is the part where any normal, friendly person on the internet would say “Come up to me and say hi!” But don’t. Do not come up to me and say hi, especially if you see that I am writing.

2. If I’m not sitting and writing, I’m walking very quickly. Especially for having short legs, I can weave through a crowd with surprising speed.

3. You see this bright blue bag. I’ve been wearing it as a backpack more often lately.

4. I’m the one with ridiculous glasses.

5. I wear a Lego necklace all the time. I pretty much never take it off.


I took this a few weeks ago at the end of the summer near the Queensboro Bridge. Nice, quiet spot.

6. I’m the one stopping to take photos with my phone at random intervals. Normally I hate people who stop in the middle of the street with little to no warning, but this is obviously behavior that I excuse for myself because there are a lot of pretty things to take pictures of.

7. If you happen to meet me on a rare occasion that I’m running to exercise for the day, I’m the one who runs for about thirty seconds and then has to walk for several minutes because I’m very much out of shape. I am ashamed of this fact.

8. I really like food. You might think, “But, like, everyone likes food.” I don’t think you understand. I’m not just a foodie enjoying the new fad foods (though I still have not had a cronut, though I have had a doughssant which is practically the same thing). I’m taking an OpenYale course called The Psychology, Biology, and Politics of Food. I’ve taken a Coursera course on the Sustainability of Food Systems. I had an internship with Rescuing Leftover Cuisine, a food rescue nonprofit in New York City. I’ve been trying to increase my knowledge of new foods to try making at home. I really like food.


I caved this morning and got a donut from one of the street carts this morning. Only a dollar! And, like, actually a dollar, not a dollar and some change like if you get a donut at Dunkin Donuts.

9. I am that one person eating breakfast food when it’s not breakfast time. I don’t care what you say, breakfast is the best meal of the day. I will never, ever skip breakfast. (Though yes, I understand that breakfast can often be extremely unhealthy, for example, the frosted donut .)

10. I’m that one person who’s been in the bookshop for several hours and hasn’t bought anything (yet). I’m not even sitting and reading a book or anything, I just really like browsing and I’m really indecisive when it comes to choosing a book. One of my older brothers once said to the other older brother, “You left her in a bookstore?! We’re gonna be here for hours!”

So now you know how to tell it’s really me sitting in the mezzanine level of the Food Emporium ignoring everything else around me or otherwise stuffing my face with sweets.

Now if you’re a stranger, please don’t bother me, because I end up jumping so high when I’m startled that I actually hurt other people and not myself.

(Hey! There’s another way to tell you’ve met me in real life!)

Today’s post was inspired by a post from a blog I recently followed, because I took the advice from The Daily Post to take inspiration from other blogs. It’s great advice that I will definitely take on again.

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What do exercise, veggies, and writing have in common?

Caroliena Cabada:

For today’s NaBloPoMo post, I thought I would cop out slightly and reblog a post from The Daily Post about the benefits of blogging.

So blog on, everyone. Blog on.

Originally posted on The Daily Post:

Part of the mission that drives The Daily Post is to provide encouragement and inspiration to people who want to be more active writers, bloggers, and creators. We often provide tips on how to write or prompts on what to write, but today, let’s talk about why to write.

Science stands firmly in support of what many of us intuitively know: writing is good for you.

Studies have shown that just the act of putting words together to express yourself leads to several physical and mental health benefits, including:

  • Improved mood and sense of well-being
  • Decreased stress and anxiety levels
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Better memory and sleep

Writing has been shown to boost immune responses, speed post-surgical healing, and help cancer patients cope with their diagnosis and treatment. Writing has also been linked to improvements in managing chronic conditions such as asthma and arthritis.

A note about privacy: If you prefer to…

View original 350 more words

First, let me apologize for who I was in 2009.

An old friend of mine, through a really hilarious facebook post, just reminded me of my wanker past. You know, that age when you end up absorbing toxic behaviors from your surroundings and say things in ways that are seemingly benign but are actually horribly offensive, and it’s only when you get older that you wise up and feel all of the shame.

Yep. I felt that shame today.

I’m horrified at who I was in 2009, and I’m also very amused. If I met my seventeen-year-old self on the street, I would give her a copy of The Poisonwood Bible and tell her to think seriously about her life and her choices.

And I would also laugh at her. Really, really hard.

Still, my amusement doesn’t mean that I would ever want to necessarily return to those days. I look back on them with nostalgia because there are some good memories (most of them involving said old friend driving around and singing along to stuff on the radio, though some of the songs are probably what led to my being a wanker), but I’ve also decided to make it a mission that every “era” of my life, every “chapter,” is better than the ones previous. Life may have been simpler (I certainly didn’t have as many responsibilities back then), but “growing up” and “becoming an adult” have given me the freedom to do whatever I want.

Sometimes, what I want is to eat a lot of chocolate because it’s just sitting in a big bowl at work and I can still handle the sugar because I’m young. And there are only my pledges to be healthier to (try and) stop me.


This post was in response to today’s Daily Prompt: Salad Days.