Earlier this week, I was writing in a cafe about an hour before my work day started. In my early-morning haze, I remembered suddenly that there was a free event in the city about food and urban public health policy. It was a breakfast event, it would have been over before I started my work day, one of my favorite food heroes was a featured guest, and it was free.
And I missed the event.
As I was writing in my journal in this cafe near the office, I gradually realized I was passing up something that could be potentially important, maybe even a turning point for my life. I very rarely get moments like this, where I realize that I’m missing something important. I had a weird feeling of precognition, and it sent a shiver down my spine.
And still, I missed the event.
If I were reading this in a work of fiction, I would be screaming at the main character to take that chance, goddammit, because there were so many hints dropped throughout past chapters indicating that she’s missing a Big F*cking Deal at that Ultra Important Event, and why isn’t she taking that Super Spontaneous Risk?
But you know, being the main character in my own life can be really exhausting. Cut me some slack, alright?
I’m still working on getting myself to take risks. I’m still working on being bolder. I’m still working on reacting quickly to opportunities. I’m still working on a lot of things. And even though I let something of this magnitude slip through my fingers so easily, I can’t get tangled up in the shame and the regret of missing it.
Also, sometimes I get these things wrong.
Tuesday I went to work, and had a busy but, I think, successful day. Wednesday, I went to work and had another busy but successful day. Today, I had a busy but, I think overall successful day. And I forgot about the event entirely until this evening, when I looked through my journal for blog ideas and started writing this blog post.
I can’t know how things would have been different if I hopped back on the train and went to that event. I only know how things have gone these past few days since making the decision to stay in that cafe to write until I started my work day.
And you know what? I’m alright with the course of events.
This post was in response to today’s Daily Post Prompt: Shiver. Check out more responses below!